I think I have a better understanding of dogs. I used get so annoyed when a grown dog would get so excited when they saw somebody that they peed. But now I get it. I leave in two weeks to PA and see Aaron for four whole days and I am so excite I feel like I could pee my pants. If I had a tail to wag I would be doing that non-stop too – but since I don’t , I am content fidgeting and wiggling all the time (I really like bouncing in my office chair – it’s got nice spring action)
The last few days I have been missing Aaron lots. I haven’t had any particularly bad days or felt really lonely or anything like that. I just really really miss him. I’ve been doing better at getting into a routine. I ride the bus to and from work. After work I have a little snack and change into my running clothes, take Bagley for a run, dinner, then I sit around and watch tv and get really bored. So I still need to have a little more structure in my evenings.
I’m developing a list of things to do to keep me busier. So far I have :
Train for and run a 5K
Buy a bottle of wine a week (planning a wine and cheese party for when Aaron get’s home)
Paint our bed room
Volunteer more (currently I do database/computer work for the Duluth Community Garden for a couple hours a week – I want to find another organization that could benefit from my skills and time and not from my meager pocket book)
It’s not on my list to do, but I daydream a lot about seeing Aaron in two weeks, I’ve been spending lots of time researching where to go and what to see and where to eat and drink in Philadelphia and the Brandywine valley. I really can’t wait – and I really hope I don’t pee my pants when I see him.
367 days to go.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Day 30
Yesterday was Aaron’s birthday – and instead of spending the evening have dinner and cocktails with friends like we typically do, I watched a Nicholas Cage movie and folded laundry. There was also no cake which sucked. But I suppose this is just one of many special days of the deployment that will be spent doing average tasks instead of celebrating.
This past weekend I went to Cities and visited Amy (another Army wife). It was nice to chat with someone who “gets” what I’m going through. And we had a lot of fun too. We went to the MN State Fair and looked at all the neat fair stuff, watched a lamb being born - they had to reach in and straighten out the lamb’s legs and pull it out (really neat and slightly gross all at the same time).
One nice thing in my world is we’re beginning to change seasons. The evenings are starting to get to cool to leave the windows open all night, the trees are starting to take on more yellow green hues as they get ready to make their bold color change. Students start moving back to campus on Thursday. Summer is coming to a close and it’s time for autumn. The only thing that disappoints me about autumn is that it’s so short up here and you have to hurry up and enjoy it because winter will chase it out long before anybody is ready for it to leave.
370 days to go.
This past weekend I went to Cities and visited Amy (another Army wife). It was nice to chat with someone who “gets” what I’m going through. And we had a lot of fun too. We went to the MN State Fair and looked at all the neat fair stuff, watched a lamb being born - they had to reach in and straighten out the lamb’s legs and pull it out (really neat and slightly gross all at the same time).
One nice thing in my world is we’re beginning to change seasons. The evenings are starting to get to cool to leave the windows open all night, the trees are starting to take on more yellow green hues as they get ready to make their bold color change. Students start moving back to campus on Thursday. Summer is coming to a close and it’s time for autumn. The only thing that disappoints me about autumn is that it’s so short up here and you have to hurry up and enjoy it because winter will chase it out long before anybody is ready for it to leave.
370 days to go.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Day 25
I’m going to consider today a major milestone since we are now 1/16 of the way done with the deployment. Aaron has his leave dates for September and I have my plane ticket :D I’m excited to see him. We’re going to see the sites in Philadelphia and then spend some time at a B & B in the countryside and do some wine tastings and look at gardens. Nice and relaxing. Unfortunately I know as I fly back to Duluth he will be getting ready to board a plane to fly overseas.
Bagley and I are staying busy. We just had my parents, my brother, my sister-in-law, and my nephew up to Duluth. We went and saw some of the sites but it just wasn’t enough time. Then we went camping up in Eveleth. Bagley and I shared our 2 man backpacking tent. He was a pillow hog – but when I got cold in the middle of the night he was an excellent heater.
I also sent Aaron his first care package. His birthday is next week and he’s going to be getting nine pounds of nuts and other miscellaneous things. I didn’t know what else to get him – he didn’t really want anything he had to lug overseas – so I got him lots and lots of salty nuts.
I’ve started communicating more with other army wives - Its reassuring that I am not the only one missing my husband. It’s also nice to know that am not the only doing some crazy house projects (painting, rearranging, ripping up gardens,…) to keep me busy :)
375 days to go
Bagley and I are staying busy. We just had my parents, my brother, my sister-in-law, and my nephew up to Duluth. We went and saw some of the sites but it just wasn’t enough time. Then we went camping up in Eveleth. Bagley and I shared our 2 man backpacking tent. He was a pillow hog – but when I got cold in the middle of the night he was an excellent heater.
I also sent Aaron his first care package. His birthday is next week and he’s going to be getting nine pounds of nuts and other miscellaneous things. I didn’t know what else to get him – he didn’t really want anything he had to lug overseas – so I got him lots and lots of salty nuts.
I’ve started communicating more with other army wives - Its reassuring that I am not the only one missing my husband. It’s also nice to know that am not the only doing some crazy house projects (painting, rearranging, ripping up gardens,…) to keep me busy :)
375 days to go
Friday, August 8, 2008
Day 12
I think “dazed” is starting to be a good word to describe how I am feeling now. I don’t think it helped that I caught an awful cold the day after I left Aaron at the Reserve Center and my past week has been a routine of Day Quil-Kleenex-Night Quil – repeat. Its been a struggle just making it through the day – my mind wanders and can’t stay focused on any task.
At home I think the dog and cats are just happy they are getting fed daily. I made a list of things I need to do this weekend – like mow the lawn (starting to look a little jungle-ish), and go grocery shopping.
The pets , or as I refer to them ‘my starter children’, have each taken on new roles now that Aaron is gone. It used to be Bagley (dog) would sit on his futon and more or less do his own thing. If something good was on TV he would come sit on the people couch – now he lays on the floor and watched me watch TV. It can be creepy sometime. He still likes to sit on couch and watch TV, but usually that means he needs to sit on my lap.
Boo (my white kitty) used to be my playful kitty. She would run around the house and play with anything she could find. If she was allowed upstairs at night, I usually awoke with her claws in my toes. Now she is my cuddler. She follows me around and always needs to be touching me.
Spooky (my black kitty) used to like to be my lap sitter. She would alternate between sitting in the window sills to sitting on my lap – Now she takes the highest vantage point she can find and watches the door. She used to sleep on the bed at night, now she sleeps on the landing and watches the door. I wonder if she is waiting for Aaron…
388 days to go.
At home I think the dog and cats are just happy they are getting fed daily. I made a list of things I need to do this weekend – like mow the lawn (starting to look a little jungle-ish), and go grocery shopping.
The pets , or as I refer to them ‘my starter children’, have each taken on new roles now that Aaron is gone. It used to be Bagley (dog) would sit on his futon and more or less do his own thing. If something good was on TV he would come sit on the people couch – now he lays on the floor and watched me watch TV. It can be creepy sometime. He still likes to sit on couch and watch TV, but usually that means he needs to sit on my lap.
Boo (my white kitty) used to be my playful kitty. She would run around the house and play with anything she could find. If she was allowed upstairs at night, I usually awoke with her claws in my toes. Now she is my cuddler. She follows me around and always needs to be touching me.
Spooky (my black kitty) used to like to be my lap sitter. She would alternate between sitting in the window sills to sitting on my lap – Now she takes the highest vantage point she can find and watches the door. She used to sleep on the bed at night, now she sleeps on the landing and watches the door. I wonder if she is waiting for Aaron…
388 days to go.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Day 8
I know it’s been a few days since I’ve posted, I wanted some perspective on Aarons leaving.
Wednesday night went to the local theater and watched Handcock - if for no other reason than to eat up a couple hours and avoid talking more about his
leaving or just sitting in silence thinking of how to say good-bye the next morning. I slept awful that night. I don’t think I got much more than a 2 hours sleep. I kept waking up and rolling over to make sure he was still there. I would snuggle up next to him only to feel that sinking feeling in my stomach that it was going to be a while before I was going to be able to snuggle again. A wet stormy dreary morning came too soon and we checked
out and headed to breakfast. We order too fast, the food came too fast, and we finished too fast. We still had 40 minutes before he needed to be at the Reserve Center - neither one of us was looking forward to just sitting there looking at each across the table and trying to figure out how to say good-bye. Thankfully two other guys from Aaron’s unit showed up at the restaurant and sat with us. The mood lightened as they ate breakfast and we all
chatted about movies.
Then it was time to leave. On the way to Center Aaron made a comment about the weather - was it an omen of how the deployment was to go? Perhaps it was just the physical manifestation of everyone’s mood? I said it was just rain. I pulled into the parking lot and popped the trunk. I got out and helped him grabbed his 3 bags. He set them down and gave me a hug. I hugged back. A few quick kisses and some I love yous. He picked his stuff up again. A few more kisses and a few more love yous. I can’t even remember if I said goodbye – I was too focused on not crying in front of him. I turned and walked back to the car and he turned and walked to the center. Then I drove away. It wasn’t until I was 20 miles down the road, where I had gotten stuck at a stop light, that the tears rolled down my face. There weren’t many of them and they didn’t last long. The light turned green I wiped my eyes and continued north.
He texted that night that they made it safe to New Jersey. He found the card I tucked into his backpack - he said it almost made him cry. That made me almost cry. I’ve returned to work, trying to get into a routine. Trying not think about everything that could happen and only hope that everyone will be OK and the time will pass quickly.
392 days to go.
Wednesday night went to the local theater and watched Handcock - if for no other reason than to eat up a couple hours and avoid talking more about his
leaving or just sitting in silence thinking of how to say good-bye the next morning. I slept awful that night. I don’t think I got much more than a 2 hours sleep. I kept waking up and rolling over to make sure he was still there. I would snuggle up next to him only to feel that sinking feeling in my stomach that it was going to be a while before I was going to be able to snuggle again. A wet stormy dreary morning came too soon and we checked
out and headed to breakfast. We order too fast, the food came too fast, and we finished too fast. We still had 40 minutes before he needed to be at the Reserve Center - neither one of us was looking forward to just sitting there looking at each across the table and trying to figure out how to say good-bye. Thankfully two other guys from Aaron’s unit showed up at the restaurant and sat with us. The mood lightened as they ate breakfast and we all
chatted about movies.
Then it was time to leave. On the way to Center Aaron made a comment about the weather - was it an omen of how the deployment was to go? Perhaps it was just the physical manifestation of everyone’s mood? I said it was just rain. I pulled into the parking lot and popped the trunk. I got out and helped him grabbed his 3 bags. He set them down and gave me a hug. I hugged back. A few quick kisses and some I love yous. He picked his stuff up again. A few more kisses and a few more love yous. I can’t even remember if I said goodbye – I was too focused on not crying in front of him. I turned and walked back to the car and he turned and walked to the center. Then I drove away. It wasn’t until I was 20 miles down the road, where I had gotten stuck at a stop light, that the tears rolled down my face. There weren’t many of them and they didn’t last long. The light turned green I wiped my eyes and continued north.
He texted that night that they made it safe to New Jersey. He found the card I tucked into his backpack - he said it almost made him cry. That made me almost cry. I’ve returned to work, trying to get into a routine. Trying not think about everything that could happen and only hope that everyone will be OK and the time will pass quickly.
392 days to go.
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